Reality Evil: The Anna Nicole Show

“Trainwreck” didn’t even begin to cover the upsetting spectacle.

So, I’ve never really liked reality TV. There are exceptions to this rule but by and large I have never warmed to the genre in its most prominent forms. The Bravo-verse, the Bachelors and TLC nightmares… I’ve never been able to get into them. This has left me at a disadvantage as someone who writes about pop culture for a living. I could probably bluff my way through a Real Housewives discussion thanks to the sheer amount of stuff I’ve absorbed through cultural osmosis but I leave that entire field to the experts.

Still, I feel like I have to engage with its history in order to understand the entertainment sphere of the present and future. David Zaslav wants to run Warner Bros. Discovery like an extended TLC platform. Andy Cohen rules Bravo with an iron fist. Scandoval was such a major news story that even The New York Times had to cover it. Indeed, it’s far more commonplace for highbrow publications to talk about stuff like Vanderpump Rules and Below Deck than it is for them to review network programming. Few mediums of entertainment have shaped modern society so thoroughly as reality TV, for better or worse. Okay, for worse, let’s be honest.

So, this led me to wonder: what is the most genuinely evil reality TV series ever made? I previously wrote about Celebrity Rehab, which I think is a top contender for the title, but I have a few other ignoble possibilities for the crown. That brings me to a new semi-regular feature: Reality Evil (look, I’m not good at naming stuff.) Every now and then, I’ll dive into a reality show of note that I believe to have been especially cruel, exploitative, or horridly influential in its malice. And what better/worse way to start than with…

The Anna Nicole Show (E! 2002 – 2004)

“It’s not supposed to be funny. It just is!”

That was the tagline of The Anna Nicole Show. Everyone knew that this series, which inexplicably ran for two season, was a bad idea. Practically every review used the word “trainwreck” in some capacity. Entertainment Weekly called the show “obscene.” It only took one episode for the “star” to become the focus of endless mockery and concern. None of it was funny, but cameras kept rolling, even as it became clearer and clearer that we were all paying spectacle to a woman who needed help.

Anna Nicole Smith’s star burned brightly and briefly. Hers was a real rags-to-riches story, the teen mum and stripper turned worldwide icon. She was a Playboy centrefold who forged a modelling career, most famously with Guess? Jeans, thanks to her heightened bombshell looks that evoked images of both Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield. With her bleach blonde hair, hourglass figure, and eager vamping for the camera, Smith embodied a very early ‘90s idea of the feminine ideal, a kind of augmented glamour that was proudly plastic. But she quickly became better known for her off-camera life. In 1994, she married J. Howard Marshall, a Texan petroleum tycoon who was at least 60 years her senior. When he died, she went to court to claim the inheritance she said she was owed, which led to a long legal battle that was never truly resolved and Smith filing for bankruptcy in 1996.

New York Magazine put her on the cover, sitting on the floor in hotpants eating crisps, with the headline “White Trash Nation.” The accompanying article by Tad Friend doesn't actually discuss Anna in any form. It's more about Bill Clinton, the women who sued him for sexual harassment, and contemporary cultural figures like Roseanne Barr (then Arnold) and Tonya Harding. These people were, according to conservative commentator Mary Matalin, symptomatic of the era's proliferation of reality TV which "sensationalizes problems that were previously repressed and unarticulated, except as small-town gossip. Ten years ago, no one would talk about fat, incest, and wife or child abuse. Now, with Tonya [Harding] or the Bobbitts, it’s tantamount to why we used to go look at the Elephant Man or the Lobster Boy." It’s a very late ‘90s article, one that takes the glimmer of an interesting idea and boils it down to its most tasteless and judgmental conclusion: that “white trash” and the cultural obsession with it was the modern day “freak show.” And Anna was the face of that, even when nobody was actually talking about her. You can understand why she sued the publication (the case was reportedly settled out of court.)

(Image via New York Magazine.)

With the dawn of a new millennium, Smith’s star had faded. Without solid career opportunities or the safety net of Marshall's money, Smith quickly became a tragic figure. When she did pop up in public, she seemed visibly out of it. She put on weight, leading to a lot of fat-shaming and cruelty that she was "no longer hot." She was barely in her 30s but already a has-been to the industry that had once welcomed her, albeit with a judgmental gaze. A reality TV show seemed inevitable.

E! had not yet become the Kardashian network in 2002. The Simple Life was four years away. Over on MTV, The Osbournes had just premiered and became the most viewed series ever on the network. The Real World was getting trashier. Reality TV never had a pristine reputation but entering the new millennium saw it devolve further. But this was also before the golden age of TV and the rise of streaming, so even the most absurd reality show could grab massive ratings. The news of Anna Nicole Smith getting her own show was met with a certain kind of enthusiasm, but everyone knew what they were getting into. Sort of.

The plots of The Anna Nicole Show are pure and obvious artifice: Anna looks for a new home, Anna goes to events, Anna uses a dating service. Her miniature poodle Sugar Pie likes to jump the furniture. She deals with an exhausting and irritating interior designer who has chosen the name Bobby Trendy for himself. Her supporting cast included her attorney, the unfortunately named Howard Stern, her assistant Kim Walter (with spiky blue hair and an Anna Nicole tattoo on her upper arm), and her teenage son Daniel, who was extremely shy and hated every moment of being on-camera.

E! exec Mark Sonnenberg told Time that they had "helped set her up to get her going on things. She wants to get a driver's license, get in better shape, find a new place to live." The other strategy seems to have been plying her with Red Bull. To quote that Time piece, "an E! exec appears from nowhere proffering Smith her seventh Red Bull of the day. The channel has a deal with Red Bull to install a refrigerator full of the supercaffeinated soft drinks in her bedroom. Not even Colonel Tom Parker thought of that."

If there is one fascinating thing about the show, it’s how un-reality TV-ready everyone involved is. Anna liked being in front of a camera (even if it’s clear that she shouldn’t be) but she wasn’t massively charismatic. Her lawyer seems furious to be there. Her assistant is awkward and her poor son looks ready to run to the hills. There are no Real Housewives-esque quips or roles being played. As contrived as all of the set-ups are, you do get the sense that E! really wanted something “real.” It’s just that the real thing they wanted was sad and exploitative. Smith is clearly intoxicated throughout the show. She frequently slurs while talking. She often doesn’t seem to know where she is or what time it is. Her son’s concern is evident, while her lawyer and assistant seem almost bored with her stumbling and babbling.

(Image via YouTube.)

It's so painfully evident that E! saw every moment of Anna’s stumbling and ignorance as something to rub their hands with glee over. In the first episode, while house-hunting, she raids the homeowner’s fridge and semi-humps the bed. In the same episode, Stern says she should speak out in support of Israel and Smith says she “knows nothing about nothing” so why would she talk about any of that? I did dig that, I must admit. It was a moment where Smith was lucid enough to say no to an obvious set-up from her own team. Mostly, though, she seems either out or it or cruel or both. She calls her team “r*****s” and throws a tantrum when she’s told she can’t take her dog to the Kentucky Derby.

Honestly, there are moments where Anna seems very sweet and funny amid the intoxication and berating. She makes a lot of self-deprecating jokes about her weight, which did make me sad because the fatphobia she faced was so ridiculous and sexist (not that her size mattered but in the show, she still looks gorgeous at her biggest.) When she says they should make bumper stickers that say, “Sh*t happens, then you live”, I nodded. There are glimpses of a kind-hearted person beneath her struggles, but then you have to watch the camera gawk at her as she becomes that “trainwreck” every review talked about and you suddenly feel complicit in something far uglier.

In one scene, Anna calls up her son to ask him if he loves her with some very uncomfortable baby talk. There’s a camera on Daniel as this call goes on and his embarrassment is clear. He was a teenage boy forced to participate in this spectacle and it felt like nobody was in his (or his mother’s) corner. Smith faced cries of being a bad parent thanks to the show, and she didn’t exactly seem hands-on, but her love was undeniable. It’s the most authentic part of this sh*tshow and it’s still impossible to watch because E! thinks it’s funny. They certainly didn’t think much about how his mother becoming a nationwide punching bag would impact Daniel.

If you squint, maybe you could see the potential for camp. When Smith receives her half of her husband’s ashes, she walks around with the urn and talks to Marshall. Sometimes, she weeps over them. You could see that exact scene in a John Waters movie, with Divine as Smith. A lot of viewers called bullsh*t on Smith’s act, seeing it as another way for her to win over future juries so she could fully claim the inheritance she said she was owed.

Your sympathies here will be entirely dependent on how you feel about a woman marrying an old rich dude for one reason and one reason only. Maybe she was truly fond of Marshall. I imagine being a poor sex worker and single mother would make one eager to please those with money. And frankly, he can spend it however he wanted to. Bring back the innocent days when billionaires blew all their cash on blow and evil volcano lairs instead of screwing up politics for the rest of us. If an octogenarian was offering you a few million dollars for a couple of years of companionship, would you say no? Even if Anna Nicole was just in it for the cash, it’s not hard to see why she’d be so eager to embrace the one guy who was honest about his intentions.

(Image via IMDb.)

Anna’s “team”, such as they are, is tough to get a hold on. Howard K. Stern often just seems annoyed to be there and is on the receiving end of a lot of abuse from Anna but he’s also frequently hyper-protective of her. He had represented Smith in court while she dealt with the Marshall estate. Eventually, he became what People described as an "indispensable" part of her life. Said one source, "She relies on his opinion for everything and he takes care of every aspect of her life. He was always there for her, even when she was dating other guys." The source also sad that Stern was in love with her, which might explain why he was so ingratiated in her life at this point. His reputation wasn't pristine, though. Members of Smith's family questioned if Stern was complicit in Smith's drug dependencies. If he was truly protective of her in a selfless way, he would have told the cameras to f*ck off.

Kimmie, Anna’s assistant, is an elevated fan, right down to the tattoo. She doesn’t seem to have been as parasitic a figure in Smith’s life as Stern, but she also seems like a classic hanger-on. In one episode, Anna buys her a car. Mostly, it seems like she exists to be a yes person to Anna and to take a few insults with good cheer. The show seems eager to play up the idea that she might be gay and in love with Anna.

Classism was rampant throughout the coverage of Smith, as evidenced by that “White Trash Nation” headline. In the show, her past comes back to embarrass her in the form of Cousin Shelly. She shows up in Los Angeles to "reconnect" with Anna, with her own film crew in tow, but it's clear all she wants is money. Shelly looks far older than her age because she has no teeth. Anna seems haunted by this spectre from her past, a reminder of what her life could have been like had she not gotten out of Mexia, Texas, and made some money. In one scene, Anna confronts Shelly after she was caught trash-talking her on-camera (the producers must have been giddy about that), and Shelly is brazen in her lack of penitence. She makes for a pathetic figure but also a fascinating reality TV antagonist. The show may openly deride its own heroine but it still prefers her to Shelly, who has the indignity of being both an addict and an unattractive one. If this was an episode of The Jerry Springer Show, you’d be rooting for Anna to fling the chair at Shelly.

While most reviews I can find from that time called out E! for its callousness, there were others that admitted to finding the show entertaining, despite themselves. The Anna Nicole Show’s premiere ratings marked the biggest debut for a reality show in cable history at the time. The first season was the most-watched programme on E! It also provided plenty of content for other platforms. Talk-show hosts mocked Smith with impersonations. The Soup mined the series endlessly for jokes. Having an Anna Nicole impression in your roster in 2003 was like having an Elvis impression in the late ‘60s: everyone did it.

In the midst of production of The Anna Nicole Show, Smith became a spokesperson for Trimspa, a transparently dodgy and caffeine-heacvy dietary supplement that bragged about its ability to help users stave off hunger pains. She had lost around 69 pounds in a relatively short amount of time, crediting Trimspa for the results. It made for the most successful business move in Smith's career at that point, and sales jumped to $43 million by 2004. Smith wore a rhinestoned Trimspa necklace to the 2004 Billboard Music Awards, where she stumbled on-stage and asked the audience if they liked her body. She was still a “trainwreck” but hey, at least she was a thin one now. Trimspa went out of business in 2008 after its parent company filed for bankruptcy protection. By that point in time, they'd already faced a class action lawsuit over false claims made in their advertising.

(Image via Reddit.)

Watching this show through my fingers and in a perennial state of cringe, I couldn’t help but think about Pamela Anderson (who she briefly meets in the Kentucky Derby episode.) She’s in the midst of a critical resurgence, having landed multiple award nominations for her excellent performance in The Last Showgirl. She has thoroughly reclaimed her narrative and redefined herself in the public eye as a savvy actress and lifestyle guru who people are rooting for. Only a decade ago, it would have been unthinkable to imagine her getting to this place in time where we were sad that she didn’t get an Oscar nom. Twenty years ago, it would have been a joke (actually, it was in an episode of Futurama.) Could Anna Nicole have gotten to a similar place had she survived and gotten clean?

We certainly would like to hope so, but with Anderson, even at her most maligned and mocked, she seemed in on her own joke. She laughed at herself, she did lots of charity work, and she had interests outside of her career, like vegan cooking and animal rights. She also knew when to get out of the spotlight. Anderson never seemed to crave the limelight in the same way that Smith did. When she returned to it, it was because she had good and empathetic collaborators. Smith, by contrast, seemed so hopelessly alone. The Yes men, the beleaguered employees, and her poor son couldn’t offer a sturdy foundation for her at her best, let alone her worst.

The conundrum of the “dumb blonde” trope is that you can’t play that role and also be dumb. It takes a lot of media savvy and self-awareness to be a marketable ditz. Marilyn Monroe was oft-dismissed as a dumb blonde but the versions of that character she played in films like Gentlemen Prefer Blondes were always far more layered than that and in on their own joke. Jayne Mansfield played up the stereotype until it was ludicrous and self-consciously camp. The dumb blonde narrative exists to subvert expectations. Smith’s image seemed designed to confirm them, or at the very least it was moulded into such by the press. The flipside of that blonde-ness is the tragic blonde. Anna Nicole frequently referenced Marilyn as an inspiration for her. And that ended tragically for both of them.

In September 2006, Smith gave birth to her daughter Dannielynn in New Providence in The Bahamas. A couple of days later, Daniel died at the age of 20 from an accidental overdose. His passing devastated Anna. In February 2007, she was found unresponsive in her room at a hotel in Florida. She was pronounced dead that same day. She was 39. The cause of death was an accidental overdose of prescription drugs. Howard K. Stern claimed he was the biological father of Dannielynn but a paternity test (following a highly public battle) proved that her real parent was photographer Larry Birkhead. Dannielynn is now 18. She is seldom seen in public but her father occasionally shares photographs of her on Instagram. They go to conventions and concerts together and seem like very normal people. She seems like a sweet kid. I’m glad.

Howard K. Stern, as of 2019, was working as a deputy public defender at the L.A. County Public Defenders Office. I’m not sure what happened to Kim.

In 2023, Netflix released a documentary about Smith. Anna Nicole Smith: You Don’t Know Me promised to tell the true story behind the mockery and tragedy, and to offer yet another string to the growing narrative of “famous women of the ‘90s getting their dues after relentless tabloid cruelty.” The film has some interesting moments thanks to some unseen archival footage, but it can't answer its own questions. It also has a needlessly cruel third act "twist" designed to make Smith seem calculating after showing a kinder side to her. The nuance of fleshing out a woman who was both misunderstood and ruthless without the strong foundations to back it up was outside of the filmmakers' scope.

(Image via Netflix.)

E! could come to be dominated by a different kind of reality show in Keeping Up with the Kardashians. That family’s drama was generally more mundane in its early days and the evolution of the clan from fame-adjacent wannabes to a wildly overpowered cultural force was positioned as aspirational. That’s a show where the subjects were wholly in control, or at least Kris Jenner was. That’s not to say that the genre got any more class conscious or less exploitative. Ha. Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo was a thing for too long, a show that always felt like it was part of a “white trash nation” dialogue with The Anna Nicole Show. Gawking at the poor and seemingly socially maladjusted is a major part of the medium’s power.

I’ve seen some people argue that there is some camp appeal to watching The Anna Nicole Show but I found it near-impossible to gleam such pleasures from what felt like such naked exploitation of someone who needed help. Sure, the drag impressions are fun but then you remember there’s a woman who died before she was 40 and left behind a baby who never got to know her mother. She died the same year Britney Spears had her breakdown and shaved her head. The tradition just continued on without her.

Thanks for reading. This won’t be as regular a feature on the newsletter as some themes since it’s labour-intensive and frankly exhausting but I have a few more ideas lined up. What reality TV show do you think was the most culturally destructive? Will this experiment end with me finally having to watch an entire episode of a Real Housewives show? stay tuned for more.