Reality Evil: The Swan

What if Miss America was also a plastic surgery bonanza?

When I first asked people online what they thought was the single-worst reality TV show ever created, one answer was constant: The Swan. Its reputation greatly precedes it. Imagine Extreme Makeover crossed with a beauty pageant. Even by the misogynistic standards of a genre not known for its love of women, this was a vile show. Cenobites are less sadistic than The Swan. For two whole seasons, this network programme turned these poor women's pain and society's disdain for them into an extended cavalcade of surgery, torture, and swimsuit competitions. If it didn't exist, it would have made for the darkest dystopian novel of our generation. That it did exist feels like such an obvious stain on our species that I’m stunned we’re not still atoning for it.

(Image via IMDb.)

In December 2002, Extreme Makeover premiered on ABC. Created by Howard Schultz, who also gave the world The Moment of Truth and Dating Naked, the show offered regular people intense makeovers involving weight loss, cosmetic surgery, and wardrobe changes. From the get-go, the show was controversial. The "extreme" of the title was no joke, as the contestants were kept away from their loved ones and their makeovers revealed as a surprise in the climax. They were intended to be dazzled by the change from Not to Hot. This led to at least one lawsuit, after the show's producers cancelled one make-over and the contestant alleged that her family was goaded by producers into videotaping "hurtful and horrific statements" about her appearance for dramatic effect. Said relative ended up dying by suicide several months later.

Extreme Makeover only lasted two seasons and was beaten in popularity by its home renovation spin-off (another show with a history of exploitation and dodgy dealings.) Ratings were solid but it was never in the top ten for network programming. It certainly couldn't keep up with ABC's The Bachelor or NBC's biggest drama hit of the early 2000s, The West Wing. But where one show goes, the copycats must follow. Cut to two years later and Fox needed something to pad out their Spring lineup, but they needed to add a gimmick atop the slicing and dicing. How about a competitive element? If audiences were happy to watch people compete for love, why not beauty?